MY SAT-NAV

MY SAT-NAV
I have a little Sat-nav
It sits there in my car
A Sat-nav is a driver’s friend
It tells you where you are.
I have a little Sat-nav
I’ve had it all my life
It’s better than the normal ones
‘My’ Sat-nav is my Wife!
It gives me full instruction
Especially how to drive
‘It’s thirty miles an hour’ it says
‘You’re doing thirty five’
It tell me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake
And tells me that it’s never, never
Safe to overtake
It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively
When to intervene
It lists the vehicles in front
And all to the rear
And taking this into account
It specifies my gear
I’m sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car
It still gives its advice
It fills me up with counselling
Each journey’s pretty fraught
So why don’t I exchange it
And get a quieter sort
Ah, well, you see, it cleans the house
Makes sure I’m properly fed
It washes all my shirts and things
And – keeps me warm in bed!
Despite all these advantages
And my tendency to scoff
I do wish that once in a while
I could turn the damned thing off

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