Little Johnny

the fat controller

Eat's Sleep's craic

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Little Johnny

· Posted: 27.11.2012 · #1

Teacher: If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?

Johnny: Seven, Sir.

Teacher: No, listen carefully...

If I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?

Johnny: Seven, Sir.

Teacher: Let me put it to you differently.

If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many would you have?

Johnny: Six.

Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?

Johnny: Seven!!! SIR!

A very angry Teacher: Where in the hell do you get seven from?!?!?

A very angry Johnny: Because,.... I've already got a feckin' cat!!!

HUCKYBABE

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Re: Little Johnny

· Posted: 27.11.2012 · #2

LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN

The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.'

The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate, not fascinating'.

Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see Rock City and I was 'fascinated.'

The teacher said, 'Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.

She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate', so she called on him.

Johnny said, 'My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight.'

Adriasonic

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Subject:

Re: Little Johnny

· Posted: 27.11.2012 · #3

Brilliant

HUCKYBABE

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Re: Little Johnny

· Posted: 30.01.2013 · #4

LITTLE JOHNNY'S SISTER

OH No !!! He has a sister ????????????

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his willy today in the playground!"

Before her mother could raise a concern,
Sally said, "It reminded me of a peanut."

Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mum asked,
"Really small, was it?"

Sally replied, "No... Salty."

Ally

Founder

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Subject:

Re: Little Johnny

· Posted: 30.01.2013 · #5

HUCKYBABE

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Re: Little Johnny

· Posted: 13.03.2013 · #6

Teacher asks class to put the word contagious in a sentence.
Ron says "The measles are contagious".
Katie says "There is a bug going round and it's contagious"
Little Johnny says "My neighbour's painting his house with a 2 inch brush and Dad says it will take the contagious!!"

Bob

Eat's Sleep's craic

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Re: Little Johnny

· Posted: 13.03.2013 · #7

teacher asks the class a question on Friday afternoons and whoever gets it right goes home early
wee Johny never gets it right

Johny steals 2 black snooker balls and puts them in the teachers drawer
Friday arrives, teacher opens her drawer to get the question.....

OK she says, whose the comedian with the black balls???

Johny shouts out........
Lenny Henry miss can i go home !!!!!!!!

Michelinman

Eat's Sleep's craic

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Subject:

Re: Little Johnny

· Posted: 13.03.2013 · #8

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