STD

Sat at the play centre when my daughter comes out with this.
6 year old daughter "daddy what does 'STD' mean?"
Me "erm, well, erm, it's like a disease?"
Daughter "what do you mean?"
Me "I'll tell you when you're older"
Daughter "just tell me, I can understand things"
Me, panicky "yes, I know, well, sometimes, erm, two people, well, when two people make a baby, well no, not necessarily a man and a woman, but erm, two people erm, or more, well forget that bit, erm, if two people share a bed, and they, I guess, when they touch each other in certain places, erm, well they can get, sometimes, well it's rare, but still you've gotta stay safe, sometimes those people can pass diseases on to each other, and they can be quite horrible, warts and rashes and stinging, or swelling of your privates, and sometimes even death. So, you know, just don't ever do anything like that. Ever."
Daughter ".........."
Me, calming down "why do you ask anyway?"
Daughter "it just says it up there, 'coffee: Large or std."
Moral of the story, always ask "where they've seen it first!"