"The Immigrants Poem"
I cross ocean, poor and broke.
Take bus, see employment folk.
Nice man treat me good in there.
Say I need to see welfare.
Welfare say, 'You come no more,
we send cash right to your door.'
Welfare cheques - they make you wealthy!
NHS - it keep you healthy!
By and by, I get plenty money.
Thanks to you, you British dummy!
Write to friends in motherland.
Tell them 'come fast as you can.'
They come in turbans and Ford trucks,
And buy big house with welfare bucks!
They come here, we live together.
More welfare cheques, it gets better.
Fourteen families, they moving in,
but neighbour's patience wearing thin.
Finally, British guy moves away.
Now I buy his house, then I say,
'Find more immigrants for house to rent.'
And in the yard I put a tent.
Everything is very good,
and soon we own the neighbourhood
We have hobby, it's called breeding.
Welfare pay for baby feeding.
Kids need dentist? Wives need pills?
We get free! We got no bills!
British crazy! They work all year,
to keep the welfare running here.
We think UK darn good place.
Too darn good for British race!
If they no like us, they can scram.
Got lots of room in Afghanistan!
I cross ocean, poor and broke.
Take bus, see employment folk.
Nice man treat me good in there.
Say I need to see welfare.
Welfare say, 'You come no more,
we send cash right to your door.'
Welfare cheques - they make you wealthy!
NHS - it keep you healthy!
By and by, I get plenty money.
Thanks to you, you British dummy!
Write to friends in motherland.
Tell them 'come fast as you can.'
They come in turbans and Ford trucks,
And buy big house with welfare bucks!
They come here, we live together.
More welfare cheques, it gets better.
Fourteen families, they moving in,
but neighbour's patience wearing thin.
Finally, British guy moves away.
Now I buy his house, then I say,
'Find more immigrants for house to rent.'
And in the yard I put a tent.
Everything is very good,
and soon we own the neighbourhood
We have hobby, it's called breeding.
Welfare pay for baby feeding.
Kids need dentist? Wives need pills?
We get free! We got no bills!
British crazy! They work all year,
to keep the welfare running here.
We think UK darn good place.
Too darn good for British race!
If they no like us, they can scram.
Got lots of room in Afghanistan!
